The Disease of Entitlement.

It’s been so long since I’ve written anything on here. 2015 was one hell of a year for my family and I. My beloved Meme got diagnosed with Brain Cancer in March of last year (I can’t believe 2015 is already ‘last year’). She fought her battle so bravely and ultimately won by going to be with Jesus on November 19th. I spent most of my year driving back and forth from Atlanta to St. Augustine to be with her and help my mom and aunt out as much as I could. If I wasn’t down in Florida with my family I was traveling and singing in a band I belong to.

I was really busy to say the least.

Now it’s January, and I am exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you know me well enough, or you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know that me getting to that point is NO BUENO. I’ve always been very open about my battles with depression and anxiety, and when exhaustion like this sets in, those two beasts have a tendency to rear their stupid ugly heads. And they have been. I’ve been in such a routine of just ‘going’ and ‘doing’ that I never had time to just stop, so it seemed as if I had defeated these creatures once and for all. But in reality, now that the dust has settled and I’m home in Atlanta for a few weeks and I finally have the time to rest, the weight of EVERYTHING has fallen so hard on my chest sometimes it feels as if I can’t even breathe.

Now, I’ll be honest with you, a lot of what EVERYTHING entails, are things that I have put on myself, by myself. The heaviest of these burdens as been this overwhelmingly selfish idea of entitlement. I really hate / love the fact that when we begin to struggle with things, that Jesus immediately rushes to the scene of the emergency and begins operating on us, to make us better. When it comes to situations like these, I’m like that belligerent drunk person that falls down and hits her head on the floor, with her blood and brains all gushing out, shoving the paramedics away in ignorance of my wounds, and believing I don’t need any of their help.

* It should be noted that the above analogy is just that, an analogy. I have never actually experienced anything remotely close to that.*

ANYWAYS…….

Whenever my heart is broken and I’m fighting an internal battle, and Jesus shows up at the accident, I constantly try to push Him away. I have even made statements out loud like “I don’t want Your help”, “I don’t trust You anymore”, “You’re only going to make it worse”, and “Leave me alone God.” But being so relentless in His pursuit of my heart in full, He doesn’t run away from me in my obnoxious obtuseness. He continues to run towards me.

The battle I am facing right now, I have realized a lot of people deal with too, after several conversations the past few days.

Jesus is wrestling with me over my sense of entitlement.

Y’all. I’m such a spoiled brat right now it’s so bad. I keep coming before Jesus and telling HIM all that I deserve. I, a little human, am standing {stubbornly} before the KING OF THE UNIVERSE and telling Him what I think I deserve. Yup. Spoiled. Brat.

The greatest part about that, is this: He sits there, on His throne, above all things, and listens to me. Let me reiterate that. Jesus High King of ALL things, sits and listens to ME tell HIM what I “deserve.”

This is the part where I mention how stinkin’ thankful for Grace.

Before the year ended, I had so many people tell me that my new word for 2016 was “Joy”. I always looked at them like yea, ok cool….prolly not. I felt like every one had jokes. Good one guys. Upon further time {reluctantly} praying, I had discovered God quietly saying, “Yea Linds, this year my heart for you is Joy.” *Insert ugly cry here.* Ok God, if that is what You have for me this year, then why do I feel so gross on the inside. Why can I look at other people’s lives and see all the joy they have due to new babies, and new houses, and lots of money…etc. etc. Being honest, all the things I want. “Why, if You want me to be joyful, are you withholding all of those things that I DESERVE from me?” ” Why, if You want me to be joyful, did you take my Meme away from me?” Why are we struggling finically?” Why are we struggling to rent a house?” Why are You asking me to wait on having a baby?” “Why are things always so hard for us?” ………..”Jesus, I have given up so much for You. I have turned down really good jobs and really great churches. I have quit every other job to do YOUR work full time. I have been hoping and praying for a baby all year. I DESERVE THESE THINGS!”

Embarrassingly enough, these are the actual things I am bringing before Jesus. Graciously enough, His response is so loving.

“Lindsey, I love you, and I get it. But..”

The “but” is always the worst, yet best part isn’t it?

“But, none of those things will bring you the joy that I am longing for you to have.”

“UMMMMMM. Yea, God actually they will.”

“No. They won’t.”

The incredible Eleanor Roosevelt has a well known quote that I repeat out loud almost every day, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I am constantly comparing my life to the lives of those around me in the every day, and even friends on Facebook, and Instagram. On Christmas day, I literally counted TWELVE people announcing pregnancy. I am constantly trolling just to keep adding to that number so after I’m done comparing I can throw it in God’s face. Comparison and entitlement are robbing me of all  the joy that Jesus wants to impart to me. I keep looking to the left and the right, comparing where I’m at to where others are, so much, that I keep forgetting to look UP.

I look UP to the mountains, does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.”
– Psalm 121:1-2

My help is upward. My help is Jesus. My portion is Jesus. My inheritance is Jesus. Because that’s what He says. The truth of the matter, because of my sin nature, and my brokenness, I really deserve death, and hell. But Jesus says NO. Jesus offers me more. He offers me Himself. 1 Corinthians 3:21-23 says this, “So don’t last about following a particular human leader. For every thing belongs to you – whether Paul, or Apollos, or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. EVERYTHING belongs to you and you belong to CHRIST, and Christ belongs to God.”

It’s so easy on the first read through to think, yea ok God I get You. You do think I deserve all the things I said I did because it says that in the Bible, right!? WRONG.

Yes everything belongs to me, because I belong to Christ and Christ belongs to God, but the reality of it is, in those verses, Paul isn’t talking about material things, like a house and money. The “everything” that he is saying belongs to us is of Jesus. Joy, peace, hope, love, comfort, security, wholeness, courage, strength. They belong to me. All those things are worth more than any thing on Earth ever could. That’s what Jesus is speaking into the struggle with entitlement. I am not, of myself, deserving of all that Jesus gives away so freely. I can sit here and list of all of the terrible things about me, but we don’t have an excess amount of time. I am jealous, and I can get real bitter if I feel like I don’t come in first. Those attributes are results of my heart being broken and what I like to call ‘leaking’. When our eyes are not focused UP, and our hearts are closed off it’s so easy for our flesh to take control and only allow us to see the have-not’s versus the haves.

This morning I am thankful for the stitches God is sewing in my heart to mend all that’s been broken. This morning I am thankful for the reality that I am so ridiculously blessed. My life is so full. I have so much.

My encouragement to you reading this, is to remember that no matter what you feel, you are blessed. You have access to true joy, peace, courage, strength, etc. because you have full access to Jesus. You are so loved and so valued by Him, that He doesn’t want you to settle for a life that is less than because you can’t get past the idea that you are entitled to more. You are worth more than life to Jesus, that’s why He gave His up for you. Let Him pursue you in the areas of your life that you have yet to give Him because you feel like you deserve them. Everything is yours, because you belong to Christ and Christ belongs to God the King of all things.

 

Finding the gold in the middle of the dirt.

Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one that finds the gold.

I found this quote on a little graphic a friend on Facebook posted this weekend. It was so timely, and why wouldn’t it be? That’s how Jesus works right? right.

This week i have been completely drained by a multitude of things I didn’t think were going to cause me to hurt. Which in turn has caused me to be OVERLY sensitive this morning. I’m sitting here at this little coffee shop at home, in St. Augustine, battling with this very simple thing. Oh, how hard it is to find the gold in someone when you are at odds with them, or when you’re just kind of over them.  Proverbs 11:27 says; “If you search for good, you will find favor; but if you search for evil, it will find you!” isn’t that so true! If you are searching for the negative in someone you best believe you’re going to find it, and being a broken human, you know we all got our fair share of dirt in us. I’m venting to my poor husband via text message right now about someone who is just frankly driving me crazy this morning. I love this person very much, but right now I don’t like them. In the middle of my venting Jesus just smacks me in the face with this scripture. I was searching for the “evil”, and very quickly I found it. But is what I am feeling or thinking right now the truth about who that person is? ABSOLUTELY NOT. And I’ll be the first to tell you that.

So what now?

I pause.

Breathe in and out. And refocus my heart.

Sure it’s so easy to find the dirt all over someone when you’re upset with them. But when you’re looking at someone through a filter of fleeting “feelings”, you’re probably seeing way more dirt on them then they actually carry. I think sometimes when you’re looking a someone through the filter of emotions, you can confuse their specks of dirt for specks of gold.

That’s what I did today { yes i realize that it’s not even noon yet…i was up early }. But THANK GOD for His grace and His love that comes swooping down immediately to save us from ourselves…even before noon on a Monday!

Here is my challenge, from Jesus to me, and now from both of us to you.
How about we start taking off our emotion colored glasses and begin seeing people how our Father sees them? Our feelings are so fleeting, but our negative words can affect someone forever.

Lord forgive me for not seeking the great things in people and instead seeking the few negative things about them.

For we are all fragile clay pots, and Jesus remembers that we are made only of dust. We all will fail, we all will fall, we all will hurt, and we will all hurt others. No one is perfect, nor will any of us ever be. Strive to see the GOLD in others this week, not the dirt.

Love you guys Xx

Lindsey ❤

confessions of anxiety.

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
– 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭8-10‬

my heart has been meditating on this verse all day. I even wrote it down on a piece of paper and I’ve been staring at it for a while.

my battle with depression and anxiety is not a new development to those who are close to me or to anyone who has read this blog before, and because of this battle, I find myself caught up in this passage of scripture today. this week has been extremely difficult for me. nothing bad has happened at all, and outside of being busy, it’s been an easy week as far as events go. but this week has also been full of sleepless nights, lack of appetite and countless tears. trying to process through everything that goes through my mind in times like these is so hard. and last night I found myself talking in circles to my amazing fiancée (who seriously deserves a medal).

I always know that when I’m having a bad anxiety attack that 9 times out of 10, what I’m feeling so anxious about is literally NO BIG DEAL. actually if I’m being honest it’s probably 10 out of 10 times. unfortunately though, in the middle of an attack it’s difficult to make myself stop. it’s difficult to quiet my mind, and absorb truth.

it’s difficult even when I know that Jesus is with me and in me.

this week, unlike the apostle Paul, i have chosen to hide all this crap from everyone but my fiancée. unlike how Paul, in this chapter brags about his weakness and “the thorn in his flesh” in order to proclaim the strength and power of God in him, I have been super embarrassed about the thorn in my flesh and i have done everything thing I can to hide my struggle. I choose to fight my battle as silently as possible because I’m afraid that bits and pieces of my anxiety are going to leak out and cause people to not want to be around me anymore. I’m afraid of scaring people off and losing friend, or people not liking me.

yeaaaaaaaaaaa.

this morning while thinking on this scripture, I hit a wall. I realized how I have missed the point.

I find myself today, just on the other side of verse 8. I’ve spent more time feeling sorry for myself and begging Jesus to make it go away, and to make me “normal”. I’ve been speaking at Jesus so much about this to actually hear Him lovingly say, “Lindsey, My grace is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” this morning I learned, in a moment of stillness that, this anxiety may be something that I struggle with for the rest of my life. BUT that doesn’t change who Jesus is, or take away from His power. in fact, when I embrace my weakness, and am actually open and honest about it, I am allowing Jesus to move in me more powerfully. when I try to stop trying to control every single thing, His strength and power, and what He has done, is doing, and will do in my life become the headline of my story. not my weakness.

earlier this week I had the privilege of having two separate, divinely organized conversations about this very topic. where two separate people opened up to me about their struggles with either anxiety or depression. looking back on those conversations I realize the grace Jesus poured into them. these two people were vulnerable and honest, and when I walked away from those people my heart was full of more love and respect for them. I walked away thinking more about the amazing things God is doing in their lives and how good He is, than I did about the actual weaknesses themselves. these two people were living out verses 9-10 of this passage.

I guess that’s why I felt the tug and pull to write this post. to brag about my weakness, in order to embrace the truth that in this Jesus’ name is made great. I know that God never wanted me to live a life full of anxiety and depression. He is for me and He loves me, and I know that even if I deal with these thorns for the rest of my life, that He is still so good. my anxiety, even though it is not of or from Jesus helps me to remember my desperate, everyday need for Him. God has done so much in my life, and He honestly is so gracious in walking me through it. He loves on me through His spirit and His word. it never ceases to amaze me.

so, whatever you are battling, don’t be ashamed or feel like you should be hiding it. I’ve done that all week, and it’s literally gotten me no where good. I’ve gotten farther today by talking to a good friend of mine, talking with Jesus, and writing this post. I’ve gotten farther, by being honest and vulnerable with people. I have felt so much better today, than I have all week because I am finally learning how to boast in my weakness. my encouragement to those fighting this battle, or a similar one, is to trust Jesus with your weakness and trust Him when He asked you to boast in that weakness. it is when we bring these dark things out into the light, that we are able to find freedom and bask in the goodness and grace is Jesus.

be blessed,

Lindsey

faithful.

    don’t worry this isn’t a sappy post about my amazing fiancé 😉. this is a brag on my Jesus.

this past week has been one of confusion, fear, doubt, and insecurity. for those of you who don’t know, back in October I visited an ENT who found two vocal nodules on my vocal chords. it has been 6 months of no singing. I’m going legit crazy here. I returned to a THIRD doctor on Wednesday of last week and got the best news I’ve gotten, but nothing close to what I wanted. even after all this time, even after all of this resting and no singing, I’m still stuck with NO SINGING. there is still a spot of concern behind my right vocal chord and it is still not vibrating properly.

was I pissed? um yea.

yesterday was the first day I haven’t cried since leaving the dr.’s office. (yay me.) and yesterday was also the first day I have stopped resenting Jesus. embarrassingly, I have given the enemy more authority to speak into my life the past five days, than I have given to Jesus. I let the lies soak in and I believed them. I was so hurt by what is happening I tried to run straight in the other direction. you best believe the Jesus who is radically in love with me, caught right up with me yesterday morning when I was alone in my room. after a few phone calls and texts from people I love deeply, I had to eat a BIG HUGE piece of humble pie. I was loved on by Jesus, through those around me, and through His powerful word. when I had chosen to lay down and give up, and question every choice I’ve made to get to where I am today, and question if the big dreams in my heart and the passion for music I have were mine or His, He was fighting for me. He was being exactly who He says He is. He was relentlessly pursuing my broken heart and contrite spirit. every step I took away, He followed suite. right. after. me.

true to who He is.

He is good. & He is faithful.
He is kind. & He is compassionate.
He is full of grace and mercy.
& He loves me.
no matter what. He loves me.

sitting here at work I looked down at my hand and began to tear up. this beautiful ring my loving fiancé gave to me is a tangible example of God’s faithfulness. I have waited so long, and have been through a lot of heartache to reach this point. to be getting married to Braden.

through every single season, through ever trial and every hurt God is ever present. i chose to forget that these past few days. but let me tell you something, God is faithful.

He will be faithful to me through this. this isn’t over, I will sing again. & when that day comes no matter how far away or how soon, my song will be richer and brighter and stronger. not because of anything I could ever do, or anyone I could ever be. but because of who HE is.

HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS.
and He is good. 💛Image

droppin the forbidden D word….

okay jumping right to the point, what i’m about to write is something i believe God wanted me to write a few days ago, but in all honesty this topic is really hard to discuss. i’m shaking as i’m typing this. i’m nervous. i’m worried about what you are going to think about me when you’re done reading this. yet i chose to trust in the fact that God is going to use this for His perfect purpose. so here we go.

 

i struggle with depression.

8 out of 10 days, i find it the greatest struggle to get out of my bed.

i cry a lot.

i’m hopeless a lot.

to those closest to me i.e: my mother and my boyfriend, i am constantly voicing my negative thoughts. my dark thoughts that cause me to feel like i am trapped in a deep dark hole, that i can not see the way out of.

didn’t see that coming did you?

how could you? i’ve been so embarrassed by this battle waged against me daily, that i will do anything and everything to avoid telling you.  but let me be real, more people are affected by this than you know. i’m writing this because i know of several people, whose faith i admire greatly, are walking through the same struggle, and i know that at the end of it all there truly is hope. there truly is joy. for some people it’s more difficult to find than it is for others, but i know and i believe with all of my heart that it’s there. i know this because i know Hope and i know Joy.

i was “clinically diagnosed” with depression and anxiety when i was around 12 or 13 years old. (but yea seriously). i used to have to go to a therapist every tuesday and thursday after school. by the time i was 18 i had already been on 2 anti-depressants. so when i say that i have struggled with depression for most of my life, i’m not lying. 

since October of last year, i’ve been doing pretty great. i was finally getting into the groove of life here in Atlanta, i was finally settling in and making friends and enjoying my job, and singing again. 2013 started off fabulously for me, i was enjoying my days and i was finding joy in what i could tangibly see God doing in my life. my days went on like this until the beginning of September, and now here at the beginning of November i can tell you, the past two months have not been the very best emotionally. there has been a laundry list of set backs, sheer disappointments, and curve balls that have triggered the hopelessness and the darkness to slowly find their way back into my head. 

now don’t get me wrong, because i know Hope and because i know Joy, i have days and moments that are not overwhelmed by the darkness. i have good days too, they aren’t always bad. 

& here is where i’m going to get even more real with you;

in these past two months and in the midst of this storm there has been an overflow of grace and mercy that has been extended to me. there has been a pair of loving arms to come home to, that are a physical extension of Christ. tonight as i sit here convicted to share this with you, i can honestly tell you that even though it’s dark right now, for the first time in this life long war, i’m choosing to lift up my heavy heart to the brilliant light that really does surround me. a light that is continually shining brightly into that darkness. a light that literally pierces through this stupid night. this is not all that life has for me, this is not what Jesus has called me to sit in forever. because Jesus is HOPE, and Jesus is JOY. & I KNOW HIM! I know that He is not content with me wallowing in the darkness,  & that every single day that it feels too hard to get out of bed that He is there with me. He comes wildly pursuing me every single day. He is the reason i can get up because He is Hope and He is Joy and He is in ME. see depression and darkness think that they have this hold on me, and you know what THEY DON’T. every morning i am choosing to open up the word before my feet even hit the ground. i am choosing to soak in truth so i can breathe it out. 

I am loved.
I am treasured.
I am seen.
I am heard.
I am understood.
I am redeemed.
I am rescued.
I am being restored.
I am being pursued by Hope and by Joy.

THAT. that is what i’m choosing to believe. i know that Jesus is doing so much in my heart. He is showing me new things, He is teaching me more about who He is, He is slowly revealing to me His plan for my life. He has not forgotten about me, and He would never ever allow the darkness to consume me. He loves me too much. i’m choosing to take heart, and trust the light.

if you are some one who is secretly, or maybe not so secretly, dealing with this too, please know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. you were never alone, and you will never be alone. depression is a very real thing. but it is conquerable. it has already been conquered. you are heard, and you are understood. you are loved, and you are valued. more than you know. 

 

in His love, 

Lindsey

feelin’ moony.

last night my sweet boyfriend and i were driving home from a beautiful wedding in douglasville, ga. we were getting ready to start driving east on i20 towards atlanta, and as soon as we got on the interstate, i saw it. the moon. this gorgeous, massive, bright glowing moon in the sky. i literally stared at it until we were no longer driving towards it. it was impossible not to. you should have seen it!

while i was staring at the moon, i began thinking about myself, and some tough things i’m walking through. when things get really difficult in my personal life, i’m not usually one to broadcast the mess. there are only about two or three people who usually know what’s going on. with all that aside, i’m choosing to be vulnerable with you again. if you’ve followed this blog long enough you know i don’t hold back the honesty. anyways…moving on. i am a worship leader, and i use my voice constantly. i’m always singing. and when i say always, i seriously mean ALWAYS. singing is my absolute favorite thing to do. i love it, it’s therapeutic, it’s healing, & it’s just down right fun. for the past few months i’ve been struggling with some pain and tension when i sing and i wasn’t able to do my normal runs and i practically had no falsetto (breathy, airy, head voice sound). i’ve been really worried about it for a while, but i just didn’t stop singing. i could hear the gentle soft prodding of the Holy Spirit, telling me it was time to take a break, that i was pushing it too much and i needed to rest. out of my stubborn nature and constant questioning of the still small voice of God i chose not to listen. i kept going because i didn’t want to let the people around me down, i didn’t want to disappoint them or inconvenience them. i was worried about man. i wasn’t worried about GOD and what He was asking.

last wednesday i went to the vocal chord doctor, and got some crappy news. my vocal chords are not working properly. my right vocal chord is too stiff and is not moving like it should. there is a nodule on it and it is preventing my vocal chords from opening and closing the way that they are supposed to. my left vocal chord seems to be working fine, but there is also a small nodule trying to form on it as well. i luckily do NOT have to have surgery which is wonderful, but i am going to have to go to voice therapy, and also not sing for a good amount of time.

😦

i can’t help think to myself “lindsey. you are such an idiot.”

i also can’t help thinking about how much weight i have put onto a gift and a talent….which here we bring it back around to the moon…. the ability to sing is just a talent from God. it’s not something i made myself do. it’s not something i could have ever tried to start doing without Him. my talent has been given to me, so that i may reflect the glory of my Father back to Him.

how many times have i tried to steal that glory for myself? just like the moon.

simple science lesson here, the moon would not be able to be as bright as it is, in fact we wouldn’t ever be able to see it at all if it wasn’t for the sun. the moon simply reflects the sunlight that hits it.

isn’t that exactly what my role is? no matter what? i saw that moon last night and couldn’t help but think it was like me. we focus so much on the things we can see, or in my case hear. have you ever heard of anyone stopping and staring up at the sun? no way! it’s to bright and blinding. no one can really just look into the sun. but in a sense we kind of can by looking at the moon. we aren’t directly looking into the sun, but we are looking at a reflection of it.

this is a seemingly a simple concept as a christian, that really i have heard before, but last night looking at the glorious moon, i think it really just soaked in my thick skull. i put so much stock into my talent that sometimes (embarrassingly enough) i take credit for it. i’m just a reflection of the God who made me. [get ready for the christian cliche..] i’m just trying to be a reflection of the Son. that’s what i was made for. i’m made to be a visible example of Christ. and that applies to my life, regardless of if i am leading worship or not. i need to stop trying to steal glory from my Father, and i need to learn to trust that even if i can’t sing, i still have purpose, and i am still meant to reflect who He is to the people in this world. i can still serve others, i can still pray for them, i can still love them, i can still do many things that exemplify Him.

i know that this season of no singing is only for a short period, and i’m very glad about that. i woke up this morning with a huge sense of hope and expectancy for what God is going to teach me through this season. i am so grateful for the privilege of carrying His name in any capacity. that’s what i’m here for. so for ever how long or short, this ‘good amount of time’ is, i’m not going to be sitting around feeling sorry for myself, i’m going to be busy reflecting the light that i’m allowed to borrow to a dark world that needs it. later taterz.

John 14:18

John 14:18
“No, I will not abandon you as orphans – I will come to you.”

I cannot move past this verse since I read it yesterday morning in a devotional posted by Laura Story. Her devotional was comforting to my soul, and reading this verse over and over it was all I could think of yesterday.

The first word is such a powerful and bold “No” from the lips of Jesus. The word was so strong, yet because of the very nature of our Savior, so gentle and full of compassion. He knows how easy it is for us to doubt so He begins this amazing promise with a stern, yet loving, “No”, so we cannot over think or mistake His precious words. How incredible is our Jesus for this!?

“No, I will not abandon you as orphans…”

Wow. What a promise.

I will NOT abandon you as orphans. Jesus says to us here, how He will never leave is as orphans. He won’t leave us as children without a Father. Orphans have no one to shelter and protect them. No one to meet their needs. The idea of Jesus not abandoning us as orphans really punches me in the chest. We deserve to be left as orphans. The depth and weight of our sin is tremendous. Even after accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Even after hearing the Earth shattering good news that is the gospel, how often do we act like illegitimate children? Even after knowing Who we belong to, how easy is it to step into acting like our life has not been radically changed by the gospel? For me, it’s so easy that it breaks my heart and grieves my spirit.

BUT.

and this is the greatest but ever, there are the sweetest last five words of this verse:

“I will come to you.”

HALLELUJAH! YES!

Those words are a smooth balm to my aching soul.

“I will come to you.”

I fall into the trap of believing that I am not a “real” Christian, because even though I strongly believe in Jesus and in His word, I still find myself caught in the vicious cycle of sin…..frequently. And that sin ranges from doubt to lust to gossiping about my brother or sister in Christ. The enemy of my soul whispers the lies of deceit in my ear on the daily.

“You are so sinful Lindsey, that God’s grace could never cover YOU!”

“Man Linds, you will never get it right will you?!”

That is why those last five words bring so much hope. Jesus says “I will come TO you.” He promises to come to where we are. One of my favorite passages of scripture is:

Psalm 103:14-17: “14 For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. 15 As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; 16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. 17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children.” ESV.

Jesus knows how weak I am. He knows my frame. I am made of dust and until I one day see Him face to face, I will always be battling some kind of sin. But every time, He will come to me. He will come to you. Oh Jesus thank You for the power of Your word!

I needed to hear this truth desperately today. I need it everyday.

“No! I I will not abandon you as orphans – I will come to you.”

As Romans 8:38-39 says: “38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ESV

There is nothing that could keep Him from coming TO you. So when you fail, rest in knowing there is ENOUGH love, mercy, and grace to cover you today. Jesus will meet you where you have fallen, no matter how far away you are. Let Him come.